Catching Up

“I wish I could write, Dan. I want to write so badly. But I just haven’t got the words.” I’ve uttered these words on a few different occasions. Most recently, last night. Writing is often my outlet. But I haven’t had an outlet this year. This year has been tough. We’ve had other rough years, and we always make it through. But this year has been a special kind of tough. It started last May. I was having a pretty uncomfortable pregnancy, but unlike the first two, I hadn’t been put on bedrest. Not yet. But then I got sick. So sick that my baby and I almost died. But then, thank God for the…

Shiny Objects or My Undisciplined Lifestyle

Despite my best intentions, and even phases of prolonged attempts at habit forming, I am a failure at consistency. Particularly with blogging, exercising and organization. I seriously want to be more of a disciplined person. I really do. But some things just don’t stick. Not forever. It usually happens in clumps. Because I’m a clumpy kind of a girl, I guess. But I suppose that is life. Because I so love to write. I love to be creative. I love to be fit and organized. But life gets in the way. A rough patch sends me into survival mode. A particularly challenging or busy month/season leaves me holding more tightly to the things that make…

Touching Base

This picture was taken a few years ago at Easter in Roslyn. A lot has happened since then. A lot of growth and stretching has taken place. We are now in a different place and while I look back fondly,it’s ok. Dan, in this picture, is being overcome with his adorable assailants. But instead of getting overwhelmed by the swinging extremities and possible injuries that come with playing with the Littles, he is clearly enjoying it as you can see by the smile on his face and the very position he is in. Playing with children can be therapeutic. It’s been a really long time since I’ve been here. I had high hopes of keeping…

Catching up with pictures.

                          And most shocking of all, America’s most wanted fugitive was caught and put to death after searching for him for a decade. It’s been an exciting few weeks. I hope to settle more into a regular routine and find more time for myself and our family as we get accustomed to the busyness of the weeks’ work. Stay tuned, my good friends. It’s encouraging to know you care. Your comments, calls, texts, emails, and Facebook posts mean a lot to me.

Crazy Busy… Not an excuse. Just the Truth.

Since I started working full time, our lives have taken a turn for the… busier. I really never thought I would be a full time working mother of two. Actually, my life is nothing like I planned… or imagined. But really, whose is? Life never turns out like one plans. That’s what makes it so exciting. And unpredictable. And exciting. Eli said to me yesterday when I was waking them up to get ready for school. “Mommy, why do you have to work full time? Why can’t you just work part time?” Just rip my heart out and break it in two, why don’t ya? But when it comes down to it, Eli loves school….

Expect the Unexpected

Being that yesterday was my last day at work, I kinda thought it would go a little differently. Boy, was I wrong. It was a rainy morning. A glorious dreary rainy morning. Perfect for sleeping in and staying in your jammies a little longer. Maybe enjoying a nice stack of pancakes with the kids…. Of course, the rain is no respecter of agendas. It rains no matter what you have going on that day. This particular day, I had to get up and take the kids to preschool so that I could go to my last day of work before starting my new job. My morning routine was pretty typical: coffee, shower, coffee, get everyone dressed,…

AM I CRAZY?! (don’t you dare answer that)

I don’t think it’s any secret that we want another baby. Yes, after miscarrying last May, we came to the conclusion that it was by God’s grace that He took our sweet one earlier than expected not only for the growth that was to be had for us, but, due to the circumstances that followed, being pregnant and having a baby last year would have been a completely different set of trials. It is by God’s grace that He spared us that. However, the sorrow of losing is a trial in and of itself. One that God saw fit to see us through. While we are still tying up loose ends of the “unemployment chapter,” we…

The Edge of Wilderness

I remember last winter, sickness was rampant in our house. I was on the nebulizer a couple times. Eli, Gabe and I all had the flu at least once. I got tonsillitis 2-3 times within a few months. It was pretty rough. This year, however, by the grace of God, we haven’t been sick at all. We’ve watched how illness has run its ugly course through the homes of our family and friends. But somehow, we’ve managed to dodge the bullet. It’s been such a blessing, too, because we’ve been without health insurance. I’ve been convinced that if we’d had health insurance, we would have been just as sick as everyone else. Seeing as how the…

heartbreaks and hurts

Taken at nine weeks – alive with a strong heartbeat. Four whole weeks before we found out she had died. In two weeks, I will have reached my due date with a few extra pounds and no baby to show for it.  In the past two years, we have lost two uncles, two grandparents and our BabyGirl. In the past year, we have gone from active in our community and having a steady income to unemployed and withdrawn. I have started working after five years of being home with our children. We endured a winter without heat (other than our trusty little wood stove – thank you, God!). And our hearts have broken over many things. …

Restitution

It never ceases to amaze me how merciful our God is. I hope it never does. For on the day that I fail to be amazed, I will need to confess my callousness. All He desires is our complete dependance on Him.  All to Jesus I surrender,All to Him I freely give;I will ever love and trust Him,In His presence daily live.     I surrender all,    I surrender all.    All to Thee, my blessed Savior,     I surrender all. All to Jesus I surrender,Humbly at His feet I bow,Worldly pleasures all forsaken;Take me, Jesus, take me now. All to Jesus I surrender,Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit,Truly know that Thou art mine. All to…