Hearts of Clay
There are so many things I wish I could say. But perhaps it is better that I not. For “a fool has no delight in understanding, but only in expressing his heart.” (Pro 18.2) Ouch!
I know God has a plan in all of this. I have known that we cannot depend on man alone, but rather in the works and promises of God. We are hurt. Yes. Our hearts break over many things. But we have promises that are eternal.
In seeking the will of God, I find my answer in, what seems to be at times, ambiguity. Seems pertinear (that’s Virginia-speak for “pretty near”) heretical to be talking like that. But in my flesh, I admit, sometimes it seems vague.
On one level, it would seem fairly straight-forward. But when it comes to practical living – like, say our present circumstances – finding a job in our non-conformity of the world, well, it just doesn’t make sense. But I trust that in our continual state of sanctification, we will be led.
…I believe I just had a break-through, people. (This is why I love writing, by the way. It helps me process.) A worldly person would be angry, bitter, and tempted to lick his wounds, continually focusing on the hurt. But the Lord gives strength to the weary and heals the brokenhearted. He provides for the poor and lifts up the head of the discouraged. He gives joy to the persecuted and teaches us that in our hurt, our pride is revealed. Our sin is exposed in order that we may confess it and be forgiven.
Paul goes on to say in Romans 12 that we are not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. A good friend encouraged us the other day to bestow grace freely even when undeserved. After all, we haven’t deserved the grace of our Messiah. This is a man who has been through a lot of betrayal. He is a man who lived Ps 35.15-16. Can I bestow grace to those who don’t deserve it? Or is my pride too big to think that I deserve better? I don’t deserve it. I have betrayed God. I have misrepresented Him. Yet He died for me. He gave grace upon grace to me. God will judge. God will provide for us. God will be our solace and refuge.
But we need prayer, people. We need the grace of God to live through us. We don’t have the strength to do it alone, nor do we intend on walking this path alone.